| And So He Knows. |
[October 24, 2007 @ 6:39pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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My Beautiful Rescue - The Providence |
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So. Cody knows I like him. I don't know what else to say. He doens't like me. End of that venture. I told him because Tyler convinced me to. Stupid Idea. It's gonna get weird. I know it. Well I'll post a longer entry when I have more time.
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| "Awww. Isn't she so sweet?" |
[October 19, 2007 @ 6:58pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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Yesterday Feelings -- The Spill Canvas |
] |
WTFFFFFFFF!! Are you kidding me?! I tell her the same thing. That the kids a jerk and waste of her time and if he doesn't like her then she shouldn't try to be friends with him and shit. And that if they are meant to be friends it will work out. And shit and then this girl she is barey friends with comes in and says the same thing and she goes "Awww. Isn't she so sweet?" WTFF! I just said the same thing. And I am sick of this! I can't take being ignored and pushed away anymore. All of my friends hate me! No one wants plans with me. My plans were cancelled tonight because the girl didn't want to go out with me. I know she cold have if she wanted too! And now all of this. It's just all BS! I hate my life. Please god. Spare me.
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| "I think you need more then 5 friends." [Cody] |
[October 19, 2007 @ 6:43pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Paralyzed -- The Spill Canvas |
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So. This is my life at the current moment. - Doing bad in all of my classes.
- Getting into a fight with cody almost every night.
- Being the "emo" girl.
- Being ignored.
- Being called a whore on a daily basis.
- Having all plans I already have fall threw.
- Being called a "faggot" for being in debate.
- Being called anti-social and told I have 5 friends by someone who I thought was my friend.
- Having no plans for halloween.
- Having no costume for halloween.
- Being ridaculed for people not liking me.
- Telling the worst secret ever to my cousin twice removed or w/e.
- Being called a hypocryte when I'm really not one.
Eveyrthing is such a mess. Let me escape from this hell. And the worst thing is whenever me and cody fight it's a stupid arguement and he gets so tempermental and I have to apologize for the stupidest things. Gah.
P.S. Cody still likes someone else. :[.
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| God help the girl whose lonely. |
[October 14, 2007 @ 8:36pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Law & Order. |
] |
So, I like cody but no, he has to like my friend. It's so obvious and he says he flirts with everyone but he doesn't with me. I just wish once he would notice me. I like him a lot and I don't want to ruin the friendship but it's so unfair. Everything is a mess and my grades are horrible. I don't know what to do. I wish I was dead. It's so stupid though. All of my suicidal thoughts had stopped and now they're coming back. I wish I was dead. My life is worthless as is my exsistance. It's not even like anyone would miss me if I was dead. God help the girl who's lonely.
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| Have you ever? |
[October 07, 2007 @ 10:20am] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
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music |
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Cut Up Angels - The Used |
] |
So have you ever sat the computer ALL day with your textbook open and microsoft word open and not got one thing done? Well that was how productive my day was yesterday. I talked with the kid I like for about 14 hours. We were up til 5 am [Joey joined the convo around 2 am.] It was so much fun but now I have 20 pages to outline before tuesday or I am screwed so I have to do work. AHHH. I hate AP classes but what are you gonna do? Wish me luck! I'll post back soon.
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| I N V I S I B L E |
[October 05, 2007 @ 7:11pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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Box Full of Sharp Objects - The Used |
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i hate almost everybody.
only because nobody likes me.
all of my friends pretend
they like me. and i feel
like a reject. i feel like every
guy in the world is inlove
with my best friend, and my
sister. i wish i was pretty.
im sick of being
i n v i s i b l e.
I haven't posted lately because my life is a mess. I've fought with my guy friends. I hate my friend's friends since they are talking BS about me. Everything is a mess. I hate my life with a burning passion and the quote above is the only way to state it.
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| Lmao. Last post for the night. I promise. |
[September 24, 2007 @ 8:01pm] |
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mood |
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 Hysterical |
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music |
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Black Cat - Mayday Parade |
] |
Haha. This is the last thing. I was talking to my friend and talking about what a great day it is and this is a part of our convo.
Raha: today is a happy day
Andrew: happy birthday ;]
Raha: it's not my birthday....
Andrew: >.>
Andrew: *takes off happy brithday raha sign from website*
Haha. I love his crazy ass, even if he pisses me off sometimes. :D.
P.S. I'm Raha. :D.
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| I always wished for a better tomorrow, will that be today? |
[September 24, 2007 @ 7:26pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
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music |
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Jamie All Over - Mayday Parade |
] |
Have you ever had one of those days where you feel neglected? Like in every class you have to pair up and no one chooses you? And the people you were suppose to be with ditch you for other people. Well that was my day today but it's remarkable how one little thing can completely change your day. Well that was my day today. My friend paired up with this other girl for tennis, completely ditching me; no one wanted to be my partner in science, and my two friends partnered up in music theatre leaving me alone. But then I was fixing my pro and I noticed the kid I talked about yesterday called me his friend!:
Me: are you friends stupid?
Him: some of em
Him: like this girl raha
I know it seems stupid but after everything we have been through it's just amazing. Friends. I love that word as long as just isn't iun front of it. Now, if he wants to put boy in front of it, then I'l be in heaven! For once in my life things are lining up. No longer just being here or being unhappy. I always wished for a better tomorrow, will that be today?
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| I Love That We're Friends Again. |
[September 23, 2007 @ 9:36pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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When I Get Home - Mayday Parade |
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I LOVE IT!! We can finally talk as friends, and he talks soo much! I love it! Although I have to intiate the conversation it's so worth it. I love it! I love him. Here is the highlight of the convo: [BTW I'm Raha.]
[talking about paintballing party]Me: were there any girls at this party?
Him: haha no mike doesnt no girls
Him: and most girls dont like paintball
Me: well then thats no
Me: fun
Me: and i like paintball
Me: shooting people with paint, how much better can it get?
Me: but thats just me.
Him: yea well ur just crazy
Him: = P
Me: what? i'm crazy because i don't cry when i break a nail and i laugh at horror movies and wear boyfriend jeans?
Me: or maybe that just makes me too awesome for you
Him: no ur just crazy
Me: why are you so mean to me?
Me: lol
Him: lol im just joshing
Me: joshing?
Me: did someone take some smart pills this morning?
Me: lmao
Him: lol
Me: and btw it's been changed to edwarding. no more joshing.
Him: nah im good with joshing
Me: w/e
Me: [sings]
Me: [pokes] talk.
Him: o hey look u kommented my myspace
Me: no shit!@
Me: lmao
Me: i did while you were away b/c i don't tend to im away people
Him: yea these anoying ppl imed me like 6 times
Him: like
Him: r u threr?
Him: tylerrr
Me: lmao.
Him: and im like obviusly not
Him: ug
Me: just don't answer them when you return
Me: then they go nuts
Me: "I KNOW YOU"RE THERE"
Me: “cough cough no i'm not cough cough”
Me: "you're not? okay. bye,"
Me: lmao
Him: lol
Him: thts definitely gonna werk?
Me: idk. depends on their stupidity
Me: are you friends stupid?
Him: some of em
Him: like this girl raha
Him: lol he he
Me: well you know, god either gives them boobs or beauty
Me: and she's no einstien
Me: :O
Him: lol
Him: weirdo
Me: you're just jealous i have boobs and the girls who live in pawling are FLATT
HAHA. Lmao. I can't believe I am falling for him again. :X.
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| We Were So Different, Yet So In Love. [...Not So Much.] |
[September 22, 2007 @ 10:00pm] |
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mood |
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in love |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Fortunate - Cartel |
] |
So. My life has been anything but normal, fun, okay, good. This is for all of those people who need somewhere to vent to, someone to relate to, someone to talk to, and someone to ask for advice from. I'm telling you right now, I'm not the best at advice and I don't know what always to say but I'll try, so keep reading, this is my story.
So lets start off with my first entry. Have you ever had one of those guy friends who you wanted to be more than friends with? Well that's how I feel. I like him so much but nothing's ever gonna happen. Last time I liked him [back in June] he found out and it was this big mess. We didn't talk for soooo long, and now we started talking again. Now that we're really becoming friends like we used to be I am starting to like him again. I don't want to mess up our friendship, but OMGGGG I like him sooo much!! But he'll never like me. He likes those popular girls. Ahhh. Either I don't say anything and pretend like I don't like him or I tell him I like him and ruin our friendship. Since this is the closest guy friendship I have and I already ruined it once, the truth is not coming out. EVERRR. Lmao. Anyone care to share their experiences or want some advice?
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